Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Randomize
