dude i'm inner monologue high
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
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