do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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