nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I'm like, not good at living.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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