Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Randomize
