She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
