pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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