I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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