So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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