Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
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