I didn't shave. On purpose
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
