I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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