honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
50% drunk capacity currently
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Randomize