he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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