could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Randomize