Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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