did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
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