Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
Randomize
