I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
