Having a random hookup so left but love u
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize