Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
