We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
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