I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
We don't watch enough power rangers
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
