Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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