There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Randomize
