READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
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