my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
i've created a new STD.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Why did my mother make you get naked?
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
