fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I want to make a zoo with you.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Randomize
