I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
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