I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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