For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
