But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Randomize
