if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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