I wannas sexs uuuuu
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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