I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
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