well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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