There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Terrible idea I love it
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
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