I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Randomize
