Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Randomize
