WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Randomize
