No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize