i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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