Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
im holly from the hills drunk
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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