I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
