How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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