Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
