oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
