And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
