we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
