Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize