So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
