Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
