im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
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