I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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