Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize