after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
3pm strippers are depressing
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
