i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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