That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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