shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
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