i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
i drank out of a bidet.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Randomize
