Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
