The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Send help, water and tortillas.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
