Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
