Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
