I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
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