whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
